Hey guys! Not much to say, but what I have to say is emotionally heavy, so prewarning there. So I'll order the topics discussed in reverse-emotionally-affecting-order, starting with: my work buddy quit while I was out due to a doctor's appointment. It is uncomfortable to think that I will not see him again. I knew this was going to happen, but I expected to be prepared, to know when the day was coming and anticipate it, but now he is just gone. I might see if my coworker can pass along his phone number, just so I can get in touch if I wanted to. Either way, it sucks, and I know I'll miss having him at work. He was the first person I've met who thinks in a similar way that I do. I don't know what else to say. I will probably digest it more as time goes on.
Second: my grandfather's cognitive decline is becoming even more noticeable. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a couple years ago, and he has started to forget people's names. He couldn't remember my father's name, his son in law. I'm not ready for him to be gone, but I know it is rapidly approaching. He wants to write an autobiography, and I'm helping him. I bought him a tape recorder so he could document his thoughts, and I plan on transcribing them into text and putting it together into a book that will hopefully be finished before he's gone, but I am not holding out hope. Either way, I will finish it, and I will make sure that his story is recorded, and remmebered by someone, anyone. Me, most of all. I love him, he was like a father to me growing up, and I'm not ready to lose him. No one is, I still miss all the people I've lost, and wish endlessly to hear their voices just one more time. I'm sure I would want a second time, and a third, fourth, fifth, and so on after. What I truly want is for them to be alive. I miss my uncle Travis, my uncle Paul, Chloe, Scott, Abby, and so many others. They visit me in my dreams as vacant specters, absent in mind and soul, but present in visage. I know its just a manifestation of my own mind, but sometimes I wish that they were truly them, and that they truly visited me so often. If there is an afterlife, I guess I'll find out, otherwise, they truly were nothing but my own desire to see them made manifest. I hope the dreams never end, regardless.
That's all. Love your family while you have them. Everything is finite, and entropy consumes all. I love you.
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