The waves swelled about the shoreline as Jack looked outward into the horizon. His feet dangled off of the dock, the sloshing waters tickling him. Despite being mid-July, the water felt frigid to the touch. Adam sat next to him, his head nested onto Jack's shoulder. Jack would occassional pull his gaze from the water and peek at Adam's warm smile. When he saw Adam in that state of near-sleeping bliss, his heart melted. The war was some distance away, the battle long since ended, and in this moment of reprieve, Jack wondered if he should have sided with his lover against Darla, and fled into the mountains to escape the world. Hundreds, if not thousnads had died, and millions more would follow, but maybe that didn't matter if Adam was comfortable. Jack longed for that comfort, but found his mind trend towards reliving the battle, rather than existing in the moment. In this moments of recollection, Jack wanted to turn back and look at the ruins of Baltimore behind them, and help Darla put the pieces back together of the slapdash manifesto that she hoped would guide the world away from the brink. Yet, Jack didn't turn around. Instead, he kept on looking at the horizon, and at Adam, existing in a state of pained remembrance, and blissful longing. Soon, the quiet tides were interrupted by footsteps behind him, and then, Darla's voice.
"Jackie, its time we moved on. The military is set to reclaim the city soon, and we shouldn't be there for it." She said, the fatigue of caring in her crackly voice.
"Can't we have a moment more?" Jack asked, looking up at Darla as she placed a hand on the shoulder that Adam did not occupy.
Lifing his head, Adam spoke after hours of silence, "No, she's right; when the military retakes the city, its best we are nowhere near what few militants are gonna try to keep it."
Looking down at his hands, Jack felt the emotions swell like the waves at his feet. Did they do enough to save the city? If the military could just take it over in a matter of days, what was the point of their conflict?
"Its okay, Jackie." Darla said, "It may not look like it, but this battle was a victory! The fascists lost; the only revolutionaries in the city are the Syndicalists! We may not have the numbers or resources to hold the city, but the fact that we could take a city at all shows the resolve of our comrades!"
Finally, Jack looked at the city behind him. What was once highrise apartments, towering office spaces, banks, restaurants, the opulence of the world before the war, was now hillsides of rubble like jagged mammatus clouds. The smoke that had blotted out the sky only hours before now seemed to clear, leaving a faint dry haze in the air. If this was victory, Jack wanted to lose.
"Have you put much more thought into where we should go?" Adam asked Darla.
"I have. You weren't completely out of your mind when you suggested we go to the appalaches. I think it would be a good place to hide out till we can regroup with the larger Syndicalist groups up north in New York."
"I don't wanna leave Maryland." Jack said, "this is my home."
Darla sighed, "If we are gonna build a better world, we need more people to build a proper combat force! Before the cell towers fell, I was in a signal chat with a few of friends in NYC, and they seem to think that we have a really good shot of using manhattan as the base of a new America!"
Darla knelt down to face Jack eye-to-eye, "The few of us here in Maryland successfully fought back and beat the most overfunded and crowded police force in the country, along with some of their fascist friends! If us few could do it on the scale of Baltimore, imagine what thousands of us could do on the scale of the entire midatlantic!"
Adam scoffed, "You were right saying I was not out of my mind to suggest the appalaches, but you are for saying we should charge up to New York and continue this hopeless revolution!" Adam put his head into his hands, and rubbed the wrinkles out. "We need to face the facts: we're just 3 people. If your new America succeeds, it will not be on account of us."
Darla's brow furled, as she barked "Our comrades in New York read my manifesto, and liked it! They've been using it as a rallying cry for the New Yorkers! If we are so insignificant, then why is it that my writing is now in the minds of thousands of future combatants who can liberate the city for us?"
"I won't deny your writing its potential for influence, but the influence has been made, and can continue to be made from the safety of a cozy little cabin in the woods! We don't need to fight to help your revolution, and frankly I think with Jack in the condition we'd be doing more harm than good."
"My condition?" Jack asked.
Adam and Darla looked over at Jack with a mournful gleem. The brief silence they observed was broken by Darla.
"You've been through a lot, Jackie, and sometimes the weight of everything gets to you. I don't think that makes you any worse of a fighter for our cause, but....it is true, you're not exactly doign good."
"I don't understand, what are you saying?" Jack asked, to more silence. "What are you saying?" Jack demanded.
Finally, Adam explained, "Jacks....you don't always remember what you do. Sometimes you hurt people and don't realize it...when things get bad, you forget we even exist. I'm not a psychologist, so I won't speculate on what's wrong, but baby....its not good."
Jack's heart sank, "I hurt people?!"
"Only for the greater good!" Darla insisted.
Adam closed his eyes and forrowed his brow at Darla's words, "no matter how we justify what we do...you have hurt people; this is factual. In those times you forget, you get this fire in your eyes, and you act like someone else entirely. Its like you become this uncontrollable force. You don't talk, you just act, and often those actions involve killing people."
"I...I kill...Oh God..."
"I'd hardly call fascists people." Darla interjected.
"Damn it Darla, people are people!" Adam insisted.
"War is hell, people die, deal with it!" Darla snapped.
"Oh so they're people now? I can't believe you!"
"How many?" Jack interrupted.
Adam and Darla looked at Jack.
"How many did I kill?" Tears filled Jack's eyes as he waited for a reply. Finally, Adam spoke.
"3 men."
"What were their names?"
"It doesn't matter, Jackie. They were fascists! If you hadn't killed them, they would have killed us! And worse still, they contributed to a world that would have forced you and Adam apart!"
"What were their names?!!" Jack screamed.
"We don't know, Jacks." Adam confessed, "they were just some American Front operatives."
"Were they shooting at us?"
"Yes they were in fact shooting at us! You're justified in killing someone if they're trying to kill you." Darla replied.
"We wouldn't be shot at if y'all had just listed to me and let us go to the Appalaches in the first place!" Adam cried.
"They would have died anyway." Darla insisted, "some other comrades, or even the police would have killed them. The American Front side of the battle was a disaster."
Adam laughed sardonically, "So you admit to our insigificance to the battle? If we are so important to this revolution of yours, how can you say that the people we killed would have died with or without us?"
"Its not about that, Adam!" Darla said, "Its about the principle! If everyone thought like you, then the reovlution would die! It doesn't matter if every single fucking person is important to the war, only that every single person has to believe that they matter to the war!"
"Quiet." Jack whispered.
"Everyone does think like me! If we go up to New York, we'll just die like everyone else. We have a real chance at surviving this thing if we just go hide in the woods till it blows over."
"Quiet..." Jack said again, this time louder.
"If everyone thought like you, then why did we win the battle?" Darla questioned.
"You call this winning?! The city is gone! You say we couldn't hold the city, that we don't have the men. There's nothing left tohold!! The city is a pile of ash."
"You're just a counter revolutionary! Jack deserves better than you!"
"Quiet, please..." Jack insisted again.
"I just want to keep Jacks safe!"
"QUIET!!!!" Jack finally screamed.
Immediately, Adam and Darla fell silent, looking to Jack for what he was about to say.
"None of this matters. The military is gonna retake the city. We can't be here when that happens." Jack was still himself, but felt The Aspect just behind his gaze, influencing his every word.
"Jackie is right. We can fight about New York once we're safe." Darla said.
Adam bit his lip, "Okay...but we're are not done. Jack is my priority, and I was a fool for thinking any of this was okay."
"Do you know how to get out of the city, Darla?" Jack asked.
Darla scanned the ashes of Baltimore, seeming to be trying to orientate herself. After a moment, she pointed outward to her right.
"Unless I'm mistaken," She began, "That way is North-East, which is the fastest way out of the city while still heading towards the mountains. I saw that seems to be in relatively good condition on our way to the docks; I figure if that has gas, we can take it up outside the city limits, and by the time we get out, we should be in the clear from the military, and if we want to save on gas, we can take the rest of the way by foot."
Adam smiled, "I'd rather not walk that far, to be honest. There's gotta be some gas stations that're still active far enough away from the city, I doubt we'll need to rely solely on whatever gas is in the tank when we find it."
"Assuming the car has gas in it at all, sure." Darla agreed.
Jack stood up, slipping his shoes and socks back on, "we have a plan. Let's go."
"You okay, Jacks?" Adam asked.
Jack nodded, "I'll be okay. I'll feel things once we're safe."
Adam fell into Jack's arms, crying into his chest, "I wish you didn't have to go through this."
Jack lifted Adam's face with a curled finger on his chin. His stubble felt nice to Jack. Jack then kissed Adam, and smiled, "I'm going through it with you. So its not so bad."
The three left the dock, and made there way back into the city towards where Darla had seen a car. On their way towards the abandoned vehicle, Jack spotted a familiar face: the girl who worked in the McDonald's he had frequented so long ago. She was knelt down next to the mutilated body of a duck, examining its wings.
"Think we should invite her to join us?" Adam asked Jack, "She looks lost; scared. One more person helping us get to the mountains."
"One more mouth to feed." Darla said.
"What a good socialist you are to be so concerned with the needs of your people." Adam said as he sneered.
"Whatever. If you think she could help us, by all means, but for all we know she's one of the fascists."
"We could ask her." Jack said.
"Doesn't seem safe...although its not like we couldn't take her if we had to. Its three of us, two of which are men twice her size, and one of which is me."
"I say we at least offer help." Adam said.
Darla lifted her hands to the air as if to whipe them clean of whatever Jack decided to do.
Without further consultation from Darla and Adam, Jack walked over to the McDonald's woman, waving as he introduced himself.
"I'm Jack. We're heading into the mountains before the military gets here. Want any help getting out?"
The woman looked up at Jack, a strange smirk curling onto her mouth, as she spoke, "I'm Kathy. I remember you. I see that dancer found his brother! Let's get the fuck out of here."
So, the four made their way to the car. To their luck and surprise, it had a full tank of gas; plenty to make it to the mountains without stopping. Getting into the car, Darla hotwired the ignition, and as it excited to life, Jack felt for the briefest of moments that there was hope after all. But then, looking back at Kathy, he notced that smirk fill her face once again. Something was wrong about that smirk, but at least for the time, Jack couldn't identify what. All the same, Jack, Adam, Darla, and now Kathy, drove out from the city limits, passing by bodies, ash, and debris. The further they drove, the fewer bodies they saw, until finally, having left the city proper, they were greeted by nothing but trees and road, and a moon steadily rising overhead.