Final Destination is a bizarre franchise; simultaneously derivative of everything else in its genre of schlocky teen gore-flix, yet strangely idiosyncratic, with even its most similar contemporary, SAW, having a dramatically different tone and presentation (and far greater popularity). Each movie, excluding the fourth, is worth watching if you enjoy gory movies with just enough substance to keep you invested throughout the runtime, but if I was to rank the movies in terms of quality, it would be as follows:
1) Final Destination 5
2) Final Destination 3
3) Final Destination 2
4) Final Destination 1
5) Shrek The Halls
6) Incredibles: Jack-Jack Attack
7) Literally every other movie ever made
∞) Final Destination 4
That said, I do not recommend you watch them in this order, as the 5th movie is enhanced by watching the other movies first (except 4), so my recommended watching order is:
1) Final Destination 1
2) Final Destination 2
3) Final Destination 3
4) Final Destination 5
5) skip the 4th
With that out of the way, I’ll move onto the actual in-depth reviews themselves. They won’t be as long as some of my other reviews because I don’t have as much to say about each movie, but it should give you a good idea of what to expect from each. I will also be avoiding spoilers in these reviews, as I do think the movies are enhanced by not knowing how each character is going to die, although you can take it as assumption that if there is a main character in one of these movies, they are going to die at some point either offscreen or on (this is not universal, however).
Final Destination 1 is a decent movie; above average, but not particularly good. Thus, it would be wrong to describe it as a classic of the genre, but it certainly is better than the initial critical reception may have you believe. Panned by critics on release, Final Destination does a good job establishing what is an interesting premise for this kind of movie, establishing the basic rules of the setting, and managing to make characters that are, if not complex, at least somewhat compared to others in the genre, and with some basic arcs. Moreover, the movie is well acted, decently well shot, and the effects are fairly good, especially for the time. Although largely forgettable, the soundtrack is passable, and does help to convincingly sell the stressful tone the movie embodies. Stress is one of the continual themes through the series, which makes sense as the characters are all destined to die brutal deaths over the duration of the films, and at least one character is aware of this fact, and trying to stop it from happening. In the case of the first movie, this character is Alex, a 17-year-old kid who sees a premonition of his own death, as well as the deaths of all of his classmates on a flight to Paris for a field trip. I’m curious what high school has the budget for a Paris fieldtrip in The US, but I digress. Alex as a character is intelligent, resourceful, and sells the paranoia required to convincingly be the protagonist of a Final Destination movie. Although nothing spectacular, the character is solid enough to carry the movie along, with a lot of help from the deuteragonist, Clear, who, stupid name aside, is the best character in the movie (although truthfully, this isn’t saying much. More comes of her character in the next movie). The other characters are largely forgettable, with the exception of Billy, who I love with all my heart and would die for. I mean, just LOOK at him, he's such an adorable himbo, I love him so much.
Overall, the first movie is a solid movie, although nothing amazing or particularly noteworthy. Its in the winning formula the first movie established that it truly triumphs. The basic rules of the movie that the movies follow is as follows: Death has a design, or a list, of people who in each instance of clusters of deaths, determines who is supposed to die, and in what order. If the intervention of a visionary, or a person who sees premonitions of their deaths, and the deaths of others who died in that specific death cluster, saves a character’s life, then that character is then set to die shortly after the scheduled time of death in order to ensure that deaths list is maintained. If the person is saved again, they are skipped over, and the next person in the list is set to die. This continues, with either skips or deaths, until the list loops back over, and the initial person to avoid death twice is killed. There are ways of cheating the system, but these are central to the plots of every movie in the series, so I won’t go into those. This formula, which is very well established in the first movie through some clever writing and is established repeatedly in every movie. This does get tiresome, but it is usually solidly written (EXCEPT FOR THE FOURTH MOVIE JESUS, EVERYTHING BAD IN THE UNIVERSE IS HELD WITHIN THE FOURTH FINAL DESTINATION MOVIE). Thus, I would likely rate the first movie a 5.5/10. Its above average, but only just. I do recommend it, however, as it is a good time, even if it isn’t a masterpiece.
Final Destination 2 is better than the first, but not substantially. The characters are more interesting, with a less paranoid, but more interesting protagonist in Kimberly, an improved character in Clear, and a solid cast all around. Although it doesn’t succeed in being anything other than horror schlock with some exceptionally funny deaths, and only passable traits otherwise, the ways in which the movie differentiates from the original manage to demonstrate the relevance of its existence beyond just being a sequel to a successful first installment. I don’t have as much to say about this movie, as much of what is worth talking about requires spoiling some elements of the ways in which the movie cheats the preestablished rules in creative ways, however I will say that the movie kept me invested in the characters more effectively than the first, and that investment allowed me to get a lot more out of the movie than I otherwise would have. With that said, the movie is only a 6/10, still not amazing, but better than the original.
Final Destination 3 continues the trend of Final Destination movies in being moderately better than the preceding movie. For the first time in the series, I truly cared about and related to the protagonist of one of these movies. That protagonist, Wendy, is a believable teenager, blaming herself for the death of her boyfriend, and behaving believably traumatized throughout the duration of the movie. Her reactions are also more realistic, although this is likely due to the performance of Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who does a really good job in the role. Although the other characters aren’t quite as impressive, the degree to which I cared about Wendy as compared to the other protagonists helped me enjoy the third film far more than the first, and reasonably more than the second. Although the writing isn’t as clever, and the introductory scene goes on for a little long, the effects have improved, as has the music. The movie does feel slightly more exploitative of women, although this doesn’t become a truly serious problem until the fourth movie. Thus, the third film is a solid 6.5/10, inching towards good, but still just above average. It does have the best line in any movie, which is important to mention: “Fuck you, Benjamin Franklin”.
Final Destination 4, or The Final Destination, is just the worst. I hate this movie with a burning passion, and firmly believe it is the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie commits the worst sin of any schlocky teen horror movie: its BORING. None of the characters have a personality that can’t be summed up in a one-to-two words, none of the actors give a good performance, none of the effects are good, the music is annoying, the cinematography is flatter than Kansas, and the deaths are uncreative for the first time in the franchise, with not a single one impressing me in any respect. The movie is a waste of time, energy, and thought, and you should take this review as a warning to never watch it. It is not so bad its good like the other movies in this series, it doesn’t have any redeeming qualities like the other movies, and it is painfully forgettable, with only the exhausted feeling I had while watching the movie stick with me. Not only that, but the tone of the film is also dramatically different than the others in the franchise, feeling as though it was trying to be more schlocky, although this attempt at self-awareness only hurts the overall experience. Worst of all is the inexplicable racism in the movie, with one character in particular having a swastika on his arm, making racist comments, and even attempting to burn a cross on a black man’s front yard. Although I could write this off as an attempt at saying “racism bad, racists bad”, the movie then goes on to have a character say something so disgusting to an Asian man that I felt genuinely gross having heard it. I won’t repeat it, and will say that the movie would not change in the slightest if they removed that line from the movie, and it seems to only be there to be funny, as if “haha racist old man funny” has any place in any movie.
I hate it, I hate it so much, don’t watch it, its just so bad. It’s a 1/10.
Final Destination 5 is a good movie. For the first time in the franchise, there is a GOOD MOVIE. Its not incredible, its still not a horror masterpiece, but it is genuinely, and unironically good! The acting is the best the series has ever been, along with the best characters, best cinematography, best soundtrack, best special effects, and best deaths. I am truly impressed by the movie, and am left very happy that I watched it. If you can only watch one of these movies, watch this one. Although it is improved by watching the others first (EXCEPT FUCKING 4), it is still enjoyable as a standalone film, and I very easily recommend it. The protagonist this time around, Sam, is the most likeable and interesting of the franchise, with ambitions, personality, and intelligence comparable to the first two protagonists. Moreover, the movie manages to create a human villain who has a believable decent into paranoid insanity that makes the movie feel greater than the sum of its parts. Although it doesn’t have anything profound to say, and isn’t a masterwork in horror, the fact that I can say that there is a human villain who is believable and interesting is enough to give this movie a glowing recommendation, considering the franchise it’s a part of. I finished the 5th movie in this franchise feeling satisfied that I hadn’t wasted my time, as I have discovered a movie that ranks as one of the better horror movies I’ve seen. Its remarkable to me that this is the follow up to the worst film in the franchise, and perhaps ever, a movie that sold exceptionally well, despite the critics panning it. There wasn’t an economic incentive to make this movie as good as it is, this movie could very easily have been even worse than the previous movie, acting solely as a cash grab looking to continue a franchise that is deader than its protagonists, yet it didn’t. This movie takes what makes the other movies pretty decent and excels at each category, impressing, and surprising me more than pretty much any other horror movie sequel I’ve seen. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the movie and give it an easy 7.5/10.
What can I even say about this franchise? Only one of the movies is truly good, and yet one of the other movies is the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s an enigma of horror film making; both interesting and unique, and exceedingly formulaic and boring. I can’t say that this is one of the greats, although I will say it is better than its contemporary of SAW. That may be controversial, but the SAW movies only really have one okay movie, and the rest are bad as far as I’m concerned. Granted, I haven’t seen them in a number of years, so perhaps my view may change with another watch. That said, I’ll leave you with this: DO NOT WATCH THE FINAL DESTINATION.
Have a great time, wherever you are, love you!
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