Smaller Things Chapter 12: Distraction

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Spit pooled out of Kathy's mouth, as she lay still on the fridged concrete. Barely conscious, she blinked away the gunk in her eyes. Pressing against the ground, she forced herself to rise, each excited muscle bringing scolding waves of agony across her arms. As she got to her feet, she saw blood where her head had been resting. She moved her hand to her forehead, and felt dry, crusted blood. Just a cut, she thought. She knew she needed to piece together what happened and how she got where she was. Looking around, she couldn't recognize anything. There was dust and grim, with cool air flowing in from her left. She was in a ruined building, that much she was sure, graffiti littering the walls; a swastika here, a fist there. Mostly large letters she couldn't discern any meaning from. Turning to her left, she saw a hole in the wall. Stepping towards it, she kicked several glass bottles to the side; she realized she wasn't wearing shoes. The glass produced a slight sting in her toe. As she stepped out of the building, the light poured into her eyes, blinding her and bringing the nagging pain in her head into focus. Once her eyes had adjusted, she saw that she was near the harbor, in the ruins of what was once the luxury apartments on Lightstreet; they were some of the first buildings to fall when the Syndicalists and American Front poured in from all sides into Baltimore. The Syndicalists hated the occupants for their wealth, and American Front thought they were Jews, and together they brought the apartments, banks, and signs of corportae luxury to the ground; or at the very least, killed as many inhabitance as they could. Kathy took comfort in knowing the rich pricks who lived near the harbor finally got what was coming to them, and that in bringing them down, the warring factions brought America that much closer to collapsing. It frankly surprised Kathy that even dozens of the major cities across the country falling to various extremists, that the feds still managed to hold onto control of the union at all. It seemed to her that all the various factions had failed to account for the possibility that America truly was too big to fall. No, thought Kathy, nothing is too big to fall, and it will fall. Whatever it takes, whatever I can do, I'll bring this whole culture down kicking and screaming.

"Do you think things'll change if society falls?" asked a familiar voice.

"No, but they'll finally pay for what they've done." Kathy replied.

"What did they even do, Kathy?"

that voice....its Ian

"Ian! Please, stay this time! I miss you--"

"I miss you too, Hon." said the voice of Ian.

"It was your fault, you know." said another voice. She immediately recognized it as Billy's; his voice still fresh in her mind.

"You're all dead! They killed you! Either help me make them pay, or leave me alone while I do it myself!" Kathy screamed into the vacant air.

Nothing replied. She was alone. She missed Ian with everything she had. The pain and loneliness would carry her to the ultimate victory over society. Only she was capable, all others would fail.

"Who the fuck are you talking to?" said another voice, this time connected to a body. It was one of an American Front radical, the leader. What was his name?

The fascist was bloodied, an empty gash where his left eye used to be, and several teeth lost form his face, burns all down the left side of his face. He limped confidently towards Kathy.

"And where the fuck were you?! Should never trust a fucking whore."

"I was here, I--"

"In the fucking harbor! We needed you on the other side of the fucking city!! I've been looking for you for hours; everyone's fucking dead! Whole fucking chapter of American Front; glowies came carpet bombed us to hell!! And you were in the harbor; feeding the fucking ducks?! You stink--you been drinking? During our fucking revolution!"

I was right, of course I was right thought Kathy, none of them can do this except me. That's why I was at the harbor, it must have been; I knew feds would be there, I knew they'd win.

"That's not why you were here." said the voice of Ian.

"She doesn't remember, does she?" said the voice of Billy.

"She's so forgetful. Maybe that's why I blew my brains out; I couldn't stand how forgetful she is." Said Ian.

"She drove us both to the barrel." Billy said.

"Shut the fuck up!!" Kathy screamed.

"Fuck you, bitch!! My friends are dead, and you should be dead with them!!" said the fascist, as he drew a pistol from his belt. As he pulled the trigger, the gun jammed, giving Kathy the chance to lunge. She pulled the knife she didn't know she had from her belt band, and shoved it into the fascists' face. As he fell to the ground, Kathy continued to stab him repeatedly, jamming the blade deep into his skull, reducing him to a pulpy mess in the dust. By the time she was done, tears ran down her face, and her knife had been blunted on the fascists skull.

"Another life gone because of you." Said Ian.

"All your fault." Said Billy and Ian in unison. "All your fault, all your fault, all your fault, all your fault, all your fault". The voices of thousands formed to a choir that stunned Kathy's senses and brought her to the ground.

ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULT ALL YOUR FAULY

"Stop!!!" Kathy screamed.

YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS YOU DID THIS

"No, no, no this wasn't me, it was their fault, it was society, it was America, it was--"

YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US YOU KILLED US

"QUIET!!!!!!" Kathy shrieked.

Silence, sweet silence once again.

Kathy wanted the harbor. She needed the harbor. She wanted to swim. She needed to swim in the harbor. Her ached, her head throbbed, her eyes burned with tears. If she could just get to the water, everything would be fine. She'd clear her head, and forget the lies that polluted her mind. It wasn't her fault. She didn't kill them. They killed themselves. They were gone because of the rich bastards that took everything from Kathy; they robbed her every pitiful paycheck, yanked the food from her mouth. It wasn't her fault. She knew it wasn't her fault. It couldn't be her fault.

Stepping into the water, she felt immediately at ease. The harbor was cold, but the cold was exactly what she needed. Despite it all, there were still ducks in the water. Crabs still hung by the shore, feeding on little worms, and fish. Life was still abundant, even as the world around it fused into a mass of rubble. Perhaps that would be how she could bring society to an end--wait for nature to overtake it. If through all of the chaos and death, the ducks still swam, maybe the ducks would inherit the earth? That was where American Front got it wrong, it wasn't about destroying society by force, but instead helping nature do its job at overtaking society. A duck swam past Kathy. She smiled, before snatching it by the neck. She squeezed tightly, until she heard a pop, and the duck went limp.

Ducks are easy to kill; once nature kills the society that killed Ian and Billy, I'll kill nature. Justice isn't done till the world ends. Kathy thought. I'll help kill the world.